A long week

It's been a really long and exhausting week. There are times that the kids make it really enjoyable. They sometimes act like they love each other. 

Grandma Bettie has been declining over the past couple of weeks. It's been really rapid and really took us by surprise. Thursday she passed away. There are so many reasons why she would have been happy it happened so fast, but it still seems a little strange to be suddenly without grandparents. I hope I can age as well as she did. Seemingly accepting most of it along the way and gracefully moving to each next stage. Retaining the ability to laugh at herself and enjoy the moments. We will miss her. 

After spending Thursday in st joe I returned to pick Mira up at cheerleading practice. She did great! 

The kids could barely wait for morning and getting out grandmas soldiers to play with. They are so funny. They both slept with one of her stuffed kitties. 

This morning Mira had her follow up ENT visit after her tubes. We waited forever it seemed. She had a cinnamon roll and I had some coffee. 

She was quite worried that it was going to be awful, but dr Nicklaus was awesome as ever and cleared us for no visits for the next 6 months. 

Next week will be crazy busy again. Griffin has his field trip coming up and I have a Wednesday full of work conference and meeting. Molly comes into town on Friday. We look forward to seeing her. Whew! 

Fall festival

I had a friend work for the first 1/2 of my shift for me Saturday night so we could go to the fall festival together. I loooooove the fall fest! The atmosphere, the food, all of it! 

The kids rode a few rides and had fun even though it cost a million dollars. 

Brooks actually let the kids get north eagles tattoos! Haha

Such an awesome sight. I just love it. 

Sullsie had fun even though he didn't get to do much. 

We got some kettle corn haha. 

Mira and griffin rode a few rides. 

The weather was just perfect. Cool and crisp. We got home a little after 9 and got everyone to bed. I took laid down for a couple of hours and rested and headed into work at about midnight! A great night! I was able to stay up for church this morning without issue which was great! Fall is here!!!

Deanna Rose Farmstead

So after being told I was abusing my kids for never taking them there, we ventured to Deanna rose today with some friends. I knew the kids would love it, but I also knew it was WAAAAAAYYYY out there in Overland Park. It was. Took about 40 minutes to get there. It's free which is amazing. Sully had a fabulous time of course. We will go back but not on a whim. Takes some planning to go so far! 

He loves birds. All kinds of birds. He just wants to sit and watch them. So cute. 

And he loves dirt. 

Ringing the cowbells was hilarious! 

Be loves all the animals but he doesn't like to Get too close! 

It was a great day! He rewarded me with staying awake for the drive home and we both crashed for a good nap! 

Another Set of tubes!

We have been enjoying the weather. I stayed up on Saturday again to watch soccer. I think it will be the last time. It has made my Saturday night absolutely miserable both times now. Griffin starts basketball this week which also presents a problem because I will need to see at least one of those and it will be the same deal....

Again. Love. This. Weather. 

Mira had her ear tube surgery again today. We had to wait until 3:30! I went ahead and sent her to school and picked her up at lunch (since she couldn't eat). 

All went well and she got spoiled. Dr N said her ear was full of junk again and she thinks it is fungus. Gross. We have to do an anti fungal rinse on it for awhile now and keep it dry. 

She did totally fine just slow to wake up. 

B got her a new movie so we are camped out in the basement. Fun fun! 

9ish weeks.

I know some people have thought my reactions the past few months have been, well, off.  When people find out you are pregnant you get all of the comments, "OH! How exciting!" "This is wonderful!" "YAY" and I've been known to respond with a, "yeah....." Most people don't really know what to say to that.  As the pregnancy progresses you get a lot of, "Are you ready? Are you excited?!" I know my responses are never what people are looking for or expect.  I feel like perhaps some people are thinking this was a mistake for us, or that we don't deserve another, or that we are disappointed about the baby, or whatever.  So here's a little insight into my head.

Let's start with the fact that neither of us is overly excitable outwardly really about anything. My  mom reminds me about this frequently- she hates it.  We're just not overly emotional people.  Do we want this baby? Are you kidding? YES! We tried for this one for a month, got pregnant, lost it 3 months later, and then tried for another 7 months. Yes, we want it. I want it with every fiber of my being.  I maybe want this one the MOST.  Why? Because in my head I can feel every tender moment that's coming, every part of having a new baby that I love and can't wait for. I can smell the new baby smell, I can feel the baby in my arms and the amazing feeling that it's MINE and I made it, nurtured it, and brought it to life.  I can imagine sitting in the dark rocking and singing to my sweet little bundle, smothering it with kisses and love.  I can picture introducing its siblings to it and the extreme joy and excitement on their faces.

And I'm terrified that somehow it won't happen. I look upon birth day with terror. What if something happens....and I do know all of those somethings that could. What if things aren't as we think they are? Yes, I know all of those things that could be not as they seem too.  And so I guard my heart.  It's just who I am. I'm terrified. I'm always terrified, but as above, maybe more this time. I know every little thing that I could loose.

For us, this baby will complete our family. It will turn our family into the family I have always dreamed of having- making it exactly as I wanted since I was a child. I can't wait to move from this stage of life into watching them grow and mature into people. It's so exciting!  But, maybe a little to perfect? It's not that I think I don't deserve it, but as I walk with friends through loss of children, I can't help but think, why am I so lucky?  I am blessed beyond what I could ever imagine, and yet some other people have so much loss and pain.  So maybe all of this is abnormal- everyone I work with knows we are all a little (or a lot) screwed up from what we see, but it is what it is.  Outside of work, there has been a lot of loss for friends in my personal life as well.  It's coming from all sides.

So if you ask me about the baby and I don't maybe react the way you think I should, it isn't because I'm not truly excited. You can't possibly imagine how much I can't wait for this baby.

Rolling along

There just hasn't been a ton to say lately. After work the other day I got home late, so decided to buck up and stay up for Mira's soccer game. I was so glad I did!!! She did great and even scored a goal! The boys don't mind hanging out. 

I love upward sports. They always have a little devotion time between practice and game. Brooks thinks another league would be better because they would play more, but I think it's fine. She doesn't get bored and it's only once a week! 

She just looked so big. 

27 hours awake and counting! 

30 weeks pregnant. So far no complications and feeling normal other than exhausted. 

Sweet silly sully. 

Sully is apparently potty trained. We are still working on consistency with #2 but he nearly never has pee accidents. I'm so proud of him! Even with a pull up on he won't pee in it! 

No big news.

This week flew. I worked Sunday night for a little holiday pay fun. The 3rd night in a row is a breeze when you are at work, but for the same reason, it's so much harder to turn around and be up early. The hangover lasts 2 days instead of just 1. This last weekend g had Tkd testing again. This time for his green stripe belt. Mom and brooks were both impressed with how well he tested!!! Tuesday he got his new belt. He's always so proud. 

So last week I failed my 1 hour glucose test for the first time ever :-/ funny because I'm the healthiest and lowest weight of any pregnancy so far. I've only gained about 16 lbs at 29 weeks and am running between 15-20 miles a week among other workouts. So last week I went low carb (a safe range no worries). And I lost 5 lbs. whoops!!! Ill have to figure that out. I'm getting tons of veggies, plenty of calories and fat, and good food, so will just need to play with it. 

Yesterday I got the joy of the 3 hr glucose test. You drink an insane amount of sugar and then they take your blood every hour for 3 hours while it crashes. Sounds nice, eh? So I hadn't slept well the night before and 30 mins in I was falling asleep. The nice lady in the lab took me back to an unused patient room to lay down and I pretty much dozed through the test. The rest of the day I felt absolutely awful. It was ridiculous how much it knocked me down. Good thing this is the last baby! That was maybe my worst pregnancy experience ever! Won't get results until tomorrow, but I may stay low carb regardless. I feel much better overall. I don't Swell in general but after a couple of lc days I noticed my hands felt less swollen in the joints and I don't feel bloated and gross.  We will see!