MAMA....MAMA!!

So this is just a little tidbit at 552 am right before I am leaving for work. I always go in and look at the kids when I come downstairs at about 530. Sometimes G will wake up and I will rock him for a minute or two and then lay him back down and come down to do my load of laundry and dishes and catch up on emails. Well, he woke up today and sat up so I picked him up and held him for about 5 minutes and then laid him back down. He closed his eyes and I left. He was fine until I turned off the hall light and heard him start to get irritated and start crying, so I raced back up the stairs to close his door so he didn't bother M. I closed his door and started back down the hall and I hear....MAMA. Then I hear MAAAA MAAAAA! WHAT? This kid does NOT say mama in ANY form. I have heard it a time or two when I have prompted him but he doesn't really call me anything. This was CLEAR. It was exactly MAMA. So of course, I went back in and held him some more. How could I resist?! He has NEVER called me mama before in all of his nearly 17 months. It's amazing what a little word can do to you.

Menu Monday

For all you healthy eaters (namely Ryanne, Josie and my sister)....here ya go! 3 points for a whole CUP!

Orzo with Garlic-Ginger Veggies

1 tbsp olive oil
2 tbsp minced ginger (I used ground)
3 garlic cloves crushed (I used minced- about a tbsp)
2 cups sliced baby carrots
2 cups sliced zucchini (I used one very large zucchini)
1 red bell pepper
1 green or yellow bell pepper
3/4 cup chicken broth
1 cup orzo pasta cooked
salt and pepper to taste

Cook the orzo and set aside. Saute garlic and ginger in the oil, then add the carrots for a few minutes. Add in chicken broth and rest of veggies after carrots have softened a bit. I put the lid on the skillet for a few minutes too to help the veggies tenderize. When veggies have softened enough then add the pasta back in and warm it back up. ENJOY!

So Menu Monday isn't something I normally do or really ever intend to do again....but I made this tonight and it was superb! I had to share it. It's from the WW New Complete Cookbook. I am actually doing well this week with controlling my eating (so far). In my opinion there are few things as beautiful as a healthy meal of fresh and colorful veggies. We ate this as a side dish with grilled pork chops. It could totally be eaten as an entire entree for vegetarians. You could use rice in place of orzo if desired.

I also have to brag- I RAN 5 miles yesterday! Amazing! I only stopped at the stoplight for 5 seconds....other than that- running! I am so proud of myself! Race is in 5 days! AH!

Job Update

I thought since some of you don't really have much to do with medical things I would explain a little more about my job. I accepted a position as a scrub nurse with cardiovascular surgery at Children's Mercy. I was already working at Children's in the Pediatric Intensive Care unit taking care of heart patients (among other things) AFTER surgery. A scrub nurse is defined as:

The scrub nurse works directly with the surgeon within the sterile field, passing instruments, sponges, and other items needed during the procedure. Surgical team members who work within the sterile field have scrubbed their hands and arms with special disinfecting soap and generally wear surgical gowns, caps, eyewear, and gloves.

I will also be responsible for learning the circulator nurse role which is:

The circulator is responsible for managing the nursing care of the patient within the OR and coordinating the needs of the surgical team with other care providers necessary for completion of surgery. The circulator nurse observes the surgery and the surgical team from a broad perspective and assists the team to create and maintain a safe and comfortable environment for the patient. The circulator nurse assesses the patient's condition before, during, and after the operation to ensure an optimal outcome for the patient. Circulating during surgery is a perioperative nursing function.

On the CV Surgery OR team at Children's there are 12 nurses- 6 scrubs and 6 circulators. There are also 2 RN First Assistants which are:

Registered Nurse First Assistant (RNFA)
The RNFA has gone through additional extensive education and training to deliver surgical care. The RNFA directly assists the surgeon by controlling bleeding, using instruments/medical devices, handling and cutting tissue, and suturing during the procedure. The RNFA may also be involved with patient care before and after surgery.

There are 2 heart surgeons and they both have their own RNFA. Dr. O'Brien's RNFA is my boss. That's basically the entire team and my "unit." This can be good or bad, right? This last week I spent 2 days with each heart surgeon watching and learning about how things work in each OR (operating room). It was pretty boring but I will admit that I learned a ton about how things go and the different roles in the ORs. I think eventually I will like it but it's quite intimidating at this point and really scary!

Our RNFA's work directly across from the surgeon holding their instruments, helping to position tissues for them, suturing (stitching) things for them, and closing the chest after the surgeon leaves. There are 2 scrub nurses on the field. Scrub 1 assists with managing the instruments, sponges, and needles and is really in charge of making sure the surgeon has everything he needs before he asks for it. Scrub 2 manages the bypass lines- setting them up and getting them ready for the patient and then manages the suctions and assists Scrub 2. There are also 2 circulators in each room- they hand off all the stitches and extra instruments to the scrubs, manage the room, get blood or grafts for the patient and help the anesthesia dr. There is also the anesthesia doctor and the perfusionist (person who runs the bypass machine). Really not too many people! So I will be a scrub nurse eventually.

The next two weeks for me will consist of classroom orientation with the general Operating room nurses and educator. It's essential of course but also I am really dreading it. Because I have never worked in the operating room I will learn a lot, but it will also be pretty boring, I'm sure. After those 2 weeks I'll be back with my team and start my real orientation.

So far I really love the schedule. I was able to stay really organized this week and the kids did FANTASTIC at Pepper's! I think she is happy for the regularity too. I actually feel like I have MORE time- probably because I am forced to make use of the time I do have. Anyway- I'm off to take advantage of my Saturday!

Berries!

Went to the berry patch this morning with Grandma Lana to pick blueberries. There weren't many ripe berries to be picked but it was still a fun outing. This is the best picture we could get of us...
Playing in the tunnel before leaving.
G thought he was big stuff. He would pick a berry, pop it in his mouth, chew it a bit, and then spit it out.

We ended up with quite a few berries and then bought some they had already picked. I think I'll make some muffins or a coffee cake for breakfast in the morning and then freeze a bunch for oatmeal later on.
M liked it for awhile but got bored quickly as usual.
In the tunnel. A fun time!

We love you Aunt Molly.

Aunt Molly lost her first baby, Owen today- we thought some pictures might cheer her up.

The kids LOVE to play in the van. It's apparently the best play place on earth.
We went to the park last week on an awesome day- here are some pics. G was totally irritated that M was getting on his dinosaur with him.
WAY cooler by yourself!
She was irritated that I wanted a picture of her.
Swinging is SO MUCH FUN!
Everyone loves to swing.
I love this park- it has tons of things they can do and not too dangerous that I have to be right next to them every single second.
Twas a fun day.

We can't wait to see you! Only a little over a week!!

At the car wash...

We washed the van this morning after my workout at Smithville. I did the 10 mile bike course and then ran the 5K. It went great! I feel really confident and proud of myself. I didn't end up swimming because it wasn't marked off and I didn't feel like getting all undressed and such to not even know what I was doing or how far I was going. Here are some pictures of the car wash!

He thought manning the hose was hilarious.

Lake Swimming

Well, Mom met me at Shawnee Mission Park last night so I could do my first open water swim. They have it bouyed off so you can tell how far you swim. The course is marked a little over 250 meters so twice around is my race length. I did it twice. I was really surprised how well I did! I was hoping to do it in 15 minutes (average) but both times I was about 10! There were things about it that were harder and things about it that were easier. The first time around I drank a lot of lake water figuring out how to lift my head and see where I was going. It was also a new experience not stopping at all. The second time I found my stride and did much better. It wasn't a big deal at all for me to not be able to see in the water!
I met this girl Amy who is terrified of swimming in the lake. She didn't even get her head in the water and freaked out when she felt a fish (she thought). She's super nervous about it.
In the midst. My new camera doesn't have much of a zoom- that's not what it's for. But it was awesome to have it with me since I can take it everywhere!
I get quite a bit of water in my right ear- should've worn my ear plug!
I feel SO MUCH better about the race! I am going to go up to Smithville on Saturday and ride the bike course and swim in the lake. I am finally feeling good- it's still stressful and scary, but I know that I can at least accomplish it and maybe even WELL!

Just some cute pics of the kids since that's really why you read the blog!

Overwhelmed- endings.

This has been a really hard week for me emotionally. I am so exhausted I can hardly keep my eyes open. My last day in the PICU was yesterday- it was pretty hard. I finally feel confident and in my element there and now I'm leaving. Cleaning out my locker and saying good-bye was hard. We went out for dinner and drinks after work and that was really fun. I was flattered that so many people went. It's hard to know if people are really sad that you're leaving or if they're just being nice. I guess it doesn't truly matter either way, but it would be nice to be missed. I know this is the right thing for me and for my family, but it doesn't make it any easier.

I am still getting ready for my race- it's 2 weeks away. My feet hurt so bad I'm soaking them in ice water (which doesn't feel great in itself). I don't really know what to do about it. After my race I'm going to take probably 2 weeks and do just pilates/yoga/swim/bike to let my feet rest and recover. I think I would really enjoy running at this point if nothing hurt. Tonight I go for my first open water swim in the lake. I'm nervous but I think after I get a couple of those under my belt I'll feel pretty confident and be able to relax a little bit.

Today was my last day of my boot camp class since I can't take it next session due to the new job. That was a serious bummer too. I have really grown to love the girls that take the class and of course, our trainer. It's been so nice to have that class to go to and feel so great afterward. I'm not going to lie though- it'll be nice to sleep past 5:03 am some days.

It just feels like so many things are changing- it's hard. I internalize my stress and then EAT to help with it- NOT GOOD. Today after boot camp I stopped for a coffee (usually black with splenda). What did I get? A SCONE and a light FRAPPUCINO! WHAT?! This is my biggest problem. I loose control of myself and just start telling myself it's ok to eat whatever because I'm stressed and it'll make me feel better, but it doesn't- it just makes me feel like an idiot for doing it. Oh well- this too shall pass eh?

On the other hand, the kids are doing really well. Mira is talking so much like a grown up it's scary.

This is our conversation the other day:
M- "Griffin got his hair cut yesterday."
Me- "No, not yesterday, last week but yes, he did."
M- "NOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo it WAS yesterday- DONT SAY THAT. It was Yesterday!"
Me- "Oh, sorry- I guess it was."

Where she comes up with this stuff is lost to me. She has serious conversations with ridiculous words included. She used the word "eventually" the other day. Weird. Bedtime is going so much better. I actually requested some library BOOKS the other day! A whole new world has opened up to me now that I have gained over 2 hours in the evening. It's amazing.
G is growing- I think. I'm not too concerned about it now. He eats ok and drinks his milk, so he'll get there eventually. The kids are doing so much better now that they are at Pepper's more often. There's no crying when they get dropped off and they're starting to get a real schedule there. I think it's a lot easier for her too.
That's all for now!

Boot Camp Babes

So for the last probably 1o weeks I have been taking a boot camp class on Tues and Thurs mornings at 525. Here are some of us girls being silly this morning! Syndee made the shirts for us- we all live in about a 1 mile radius. It was really my ONLY hangup with taking the new job- I won't be able to take it anymore. It's been great motivation that we all go at the same time! I love it! I'm going to miss Mendy (the trainer) so much! She has really kicked my butt! It's unlike any class you've taken before- after the picture we ran about 1/2 mile to the "wall" and ran up and down the hill where the wall is in the grass and then sprinted back around after doing kettle bell raises about 5 times. Then we ran back to the church and did circuits of lunges, planks, ab teasers, stairs, jumping jacks and 1 leg squats. GREAT fun!

New Camera.

I got a new camera for my birthday that is pocket sized so I can take it with me everywhere. It's nothing special but I LOVE it! Here are a few pictures from tonight just playing around.
M making pizza with daddy.
Watching her new movie Winnie The Pooh.
Eating cheese puffs after he ate his sweet potatoes and yogurt. I can't believe I am feeding my 1 year old cheese puffs...
Being silly.
Cute.

1st Saturday off...

So meal times for G have turned into a disaster. He doesn't want us to feed him- normal for a 16 month old, right? However the problem comes with the fact that he still doesn't really eat solid things, so he's still spoon fed. The only way you can get food into him is by putting the food on his tray and letting him cover everything in it. He does a pretty good job with the spoon for a kid his age, but he doesn't eat a ton with it. It's just really stressful and challenging. He's also really into spitting things out that he doesn't like immediately (M will show you that if you want to see how it looks).
We just keep trying distraction after distraction until we can get him to eat a fair amount. He is loving cookies and crackers and an occasional french fry, blueberry, or apple, but really there's not a lot of nutrition in what solid food he eats. He's come a long way, but we still have miles to go!
M is a pretty good distraction for a few bites.
Today is my first Saturday off! YAY! It's strange- I really didn 't mind working every weekend at all. I rather enjoyed it. Most of the time it's pretty quiet and I love my weekend girls, but with the promise of no more weekends I am really excited. A whole new world of weekend trips and activities has opened up. Today I started my Sat morning pilates class and then we went to the zoo as a family. I can't wait for church tomorrow- I have 3 churches I want to try out and then I want to get settled in a church home. 1st one starts tomorrow.
It's also a lot easier to get a workout in when you don't have to find a sitter! Last night I ran 3.6 miles straight- a pretty big milestone for me. I am sure I can at least accomplish the race in its entirety but I am sortof worried about swimming in the lake. My goal for the next few weeks is to practice swimming in open water and figure it out so I don't drown!

We're off to a party at my cousin's house and we got a babysitter (well, grandma)! WOOT!

Oh the fun.

Everything out of the toy box so we can play!

An argument...

"NOOOOOOOoooooooooooooo!!! I don't wanna weaw doze sorts, they don't mats!" cry cry cry....
"I wear DOZE FLOWEW PANTS!" (No, I don't wanna wear those shorts, they don't match, I wear those flower pants)

Then I see this:Sigh.

More on change.

Silly- we took these last week.
If you look closely we have the exact same color eyes.
This might end up a slightly (or more than slightly) reflective post... I feel like lots of things have changed lately. The obvious- I have lost 30 lbs, am in the best shape of my life (literally), I am taking a new job in 3 weeks, I'm going to have a normalish schedule, and a few other things.
The not-so-obvious to other people: I find that I feel better about myself than ever before. I don't shy away from getting my picture taken, I feel good in my clothes and most of the time don't feel self conscious about myself. I find myself doing things FOR myself lately- reading some books to help me with areas of my life I feel I need to work on, spending more time with friends one on one and in groups, taking the time to paint my toenails, shave my legs regularly, get my hair cut and dyed regularly, do an exercise class I love, etc. It's interesting how feeling good about yourself can slowly creep into all areas of your life and make you WANT to improve things.

I am taking a job with Cardiovascular Surgery at Children's mercy- I will be a scrub nurse in the operating room. This means I will be at the field during the surgery- I will be in charge of managing instruments for the surgeon, etc. At each surgery there is a surgeon (obviously) and 3 nurses- the 1st (each doctor has one) and 2 scrub nurses. On most days I am really excited about it. I want to learn new things and I am REALLY looking forward to finding a church home and making it our own. I have no idea if the OR is the place for me or not. It is completely different than anything I've ever done as a nurse, but I do think it will fit my obsessive and organized personality well. If I do end up ever going back to the PICU it will be a great expansion of my knowledge. There are days when I wonder what I'm doing. I love my job, love my coworkers, and love my patients. Why am I leaving, you ask? Well....in nursing there are about a million different things you can do, and I've only done ONE. So how do I know I'm where I belong? I have been there long enough to be knowledgeable, successful, and just darn good at what I do (heh), but where do I want to be in 10 years? I HAVE NO IDEA. A scary thought really. Time to see what else the world holds. I am really really excited about working 4 days a week 7-330- I think it will benefit our family and our children a GREAT deal. My kids are both strong willed and strong willed children thrive on scheduling....something neither B and I are good at providing. Pepper, on the other hand, is superb at it. There are lots of things that will have to change with this, but I am excited to see how this will impact our family.

I am still doing my training. I really need to step it up this week and do more, but I feel like people are tired of watching our children so I can work out. Unfortunately this means that B has to be alone with them in the evening so I can get it in. Only one more month until the race! Time is getting short and I don't feel even close to being ready to complete it.

In short, I feel like an entirely different person than I was 4 months ago and it feels great. Unfortunately I do feel that it's possible that it won't last. I am actually a little terrified of having another baby and gaining a bunch of weight back. I really don't want to get pregnant until I have been in my new position for at least a year so we'll see what happens there. I also need for my children to grow out of their difficulties a bit.

That's all for now- I can't handle the screaming any more. Doesn't G look like such a BOY here?

He thinks it's hilarious to push the chairs over to the computer and try to play with it. Woops- got caught this time!