The rest of our Holiday

We'll start with STJ on Christmas day. M loved this little motorcycle. You push a button and it goes on its own. She and Max played with that for quite awhile.
She also loved Patches the kitty. She was adorable and so sweet. I wish we could have one :(
Max carried around the camera saying "CHEESE" for about a 1/2 an hour.
M playing in the rubbermaid. It's a long tradition started by my grandma to fill boxes with each persons' presents. So Murphy, Max, Todd, Ryan, and Missy all got rubbermaid tubs filled with presents from Ann and Bob. M just wanted a tub.
M thanking Grandma Betty for her new fangled "paper dolls." It's a wooden doll with magnetic clothes, shoes, and hats. She actually liked it pretty well!Playing with grandma.G with daddy watching the action.Max and Murphy got helmets for the 4 wheeler.Christmas at Grandma Lana's on Friday.
We waited on M to wake up so we could start the festivities.Look at that hair. It would appear she has a lot of it, but it's really quite thin.The fam. This picture isn't so good but in the next one M is picking her nose. So, this one it is! I don't have the entire family picture (with grandma and grandpa) on my camera.Let the games begin!Aunt Casey loves to put the kids inside boxes...G got a couch like M.Uncle Kellen got her a new baby. She's getting into babies but she's pretty busy to mess with them too much. She likes to put them down for naps. Opening her scooter with mommy.Daddy putting it together.Taking off!Look at this face. The picture is kinda dark but this is CLASSIC M face lately. She is REALLY into sticking her bottom lip out.Addison in his teepee made by ME!Right before coming home- G was actually asleep like this and if I tried to move him he would get back here.So tired.Merry Christmas!

Christmas x3

Well guess who's sick now? Yup, me. Of course. I am SO DONE with this winter. Sorry I didn't get to uploading the pictures sooner. It's been busy. I ended up getting to stay home on Christmas and today (yay for healthy kids!) so that's been nice! I didn't get sick until yesterday afternoon, so the holiday was exhausting, but fun. I'm ready to move on though.
The family picture attempts. I thought this first one hilarious. This one would be pretty good if I didn't look like such an idiot. Tuesday we had everyone over for Lana's birthday. It wasn't anything big, but here are a few pics of the kids.This pic is a random one of G- NO I didn't put him on the table. He climbed up on M's desk and then figured out a way to get on top of the table. Doesn't he look innocent about it?Christmas eve we had B's parents and my mom over and the kids opened all their presents since I was supposed to work. It ended up working out well since we still had 2 more days ahead of us. M definitely has it figured out and opened several other people's presents also. G really didn't care at all, of course. It was also the worst day of his sickness, so he was pretty miserable. We went to church which was pretty miserable and then came back here to play and eat chili. It was a good night.
M helped B put together G's new zebra toy.
The finished product. G got to check it out the next morning.Christmas day we got up and went to B's parents' house for breakfast. I will admit that when we all got up and both kids were screaming that I questioned why it was that I wanted to stay home from work... Then we headed to STJ to see my side of the family. Max and Mira are about 3 weeks apart and it was fun to see them interact. They are vastly different! It was good to see my family! We left there and headed back to David and Lana's for a relaxing evening. We watched Christmas Vacation and hung out. M went to my mom's to spend the night. G was feeling so much better by evening and was in rare form. He started waving and saying "Haaah!!" (Hi). I think we can maybe count it as his first word.

Friday was Christmas at B's parents since it was our year and Grant and Casey's year to be at the other side on Christmas day. We got over there about noon and ate at about 1. Mira actually took about a 2 hour nap and was great all day! We spread the presents out over several sessions. The kids really enjoy playing in the unfinished basement over there. M and Reese both got scooters!!

I had a really great Christmas. I got everything I wanted!!! We got yearly passes to the zoo and to Worlds of Fun from my family which will make for a great spring, summer and fall! I got a necklace with the kids' names, birthdates, and birthstones on it and an NINTENDO DS! WOOHOO!!! I also got some new clothes which fit great. I haven't been so excited about my gifts for years!

Well, it's really early-the rain woke me up. I think my coughing fits have calmed for now so I'm going to go back to bed now. I'll add more pictures later.

Sick :(

Of course, both the kids are sick. M got some antibiotics a few days ago and is coming out of it now, but G's just got bad last night so he didn't get his medicine until today. He's pretty crabby and wants to be held. He isn't eating which isn't helping him grow either...

When we took M to the doctor we took G to weigh him- only 16lbs 8oz. Hmmm...that's only 2 oz in 2 weeks. Normal really for this age, but he needs to grow faster. I knew this would happen. I knew I would wean him so he would grow and then he wouldn't grow and I'd feel guilty for weaning when I didn't need to. Oh well. I was looking for a reason to wean anyway, so it gave me an out I suppose. We talked about it briefly and now that we're out of breast milk I have decided that I'm not going to calorie load his milk. A normal baby shouldn't need high calorie formula to grow. Dr. M said she agreed. We'll see what happens. I think no matter what you decide, you're going to feel like maybe you didn't do the right thing. It's just the nature of motherhood.

We are doing Christmas today since I have to work tomorrow. I'll try to get some pictures up tonight. M is pretty cute about opening presents. G could really care less. The snot on his face makes pictures really pretty right now too.

It's been a really exhausting few days. Monday night mom and I went shopping until after 11 and I was up until at least 12. Last night I was up until 1 am. It's totally unlike me to be up so late. I'm soooo tired. Oh well- that's Christmas, right?

Learning to fly

Yep- that's my kitchen sink. Isn't it pretty? So shiny. I have discovered Flylady.com. I spent an hour (yes an hour) cleaning and shining my kitchen sink this afternoon and then another 5 or 10 minutes before bed. I used a toothbrush, bleach, hot water, soft scrub, a scrubber sponge, the bar keeper's friend, and a lot of elbow grease. So you're asking, what the heck is flylady? Well, I'll tell you. Basically it helps you get your life under control. I do need this. I have a bit of a routine, but I'm not great at following it. I'm getting ahead of myself, let me give you some background.

I am obsessive compulsive. I play it up, but it's really quite mild. I don't wash my hands a million times a day, check the stove 50 times before turning in, etc. Basically, I become depressed when I find myself not in control of most situations. I do take Prozac to help me go with the flow. On soap box- if you find yourself depressed please humble yourself and see a specialist- your depression may be caused by something else and easily solved. Off soap box- So anyhow, flylady basically helps you form routines and plans to help you be in control of your life. What more could someone with OCD ask for?! A blog I frequent mentioned this about a week ago and I shrugged it off, but in boredom one day decided to check it out. It's amazing! We'll see if I can follow through, but I think it could work for me. I don't plan on taking it quite as far as it can go, but I just need some help working on my routines and schedules. Since I went to weekend option I have a plan for each day- some small tasks that help me keep up with cleaning, laundry, etc. I usually get them done, but I don't stress if I miss a day or two (thanks prozac old friend). I've been pretty inconsistent of late and I am needing something to help me manage a little better.

I forgot to mention last night in my exhaustion why the flylady seemed to speak so clearly to me. I have long had an obsession with the sink. I won't touch it. I hate it. It's the dirtiest most disgusting place on earth. Everything that touches it or lays in there I barely touch with my fingertips as I load it in the dishwasher. I won't push anything into the garbage disposal with my hand- I have to use a utensil of some sort. Dirty dishes in it cannot have water in them or I'll gag. I HATE a wet sponge or cloth in the sink- it makes me want to gag and I'll barely touch it with my fingertips to pick it up and then I throw it to the side so I don't have to touch it until it's dry. So- now you know about one of my few OCD tendencies. The sink. SO- since the flylady wants me to keep the sink obsessively clean- I think that's right up my alley.

Weekend option is great because it's very easy to do "this" on Mondays, "this" on Tuesdays, and so on. So- flylady starts with shining your sink. Isn't it gorgeous? It really sets the tone for neatness. It makes me smile. It also makes me not want to eat or drink ANYTHING because I might have to mess it up. Our house is so difficult because there are no walls to hide the clutter. So- I have to go to bed now, but check out the flylady. Especially you, Ryanne. We can by fly partners. It seems right up your alley.

Tipsy-ish thoughts

So we had a really fun dinner party tonight. We had 8 adults and 4 kids. Everyone thought (or at least they said so) the briscuit was awesome- Thanks Ryanne!! I thought it turned out great. It was nice to get friends and family together for no real reason other than food and fun. The kids loved playing and we had a good time conversing. It's strange how a glass and a half of wine can do me in!

I haven't pumped since Sunday and I'm doing great. I think my body finally got the clue that we're done breastfeeding. I only have 3 bags of milk left for tomorrow- it's pretty sad that he won't get any more. There are so many emotions that go along with moving to the next stage of life with your children.

So last night I fell asleep with M at about 730 and slept until about 7 this morning. It's hard at this age (2). I want so much to be there for her every second. Especially when she wants me to hold her or stay by her, but then again I want to do what's right for her. Right now she is in this stage where she wants us by her and holding her to fall asleep. Sometimes it's just not possible. We have two kids now and we need to be there for both of them. Sometimes I have things I want to do, but sometimes I do want to just lay and hold her and sing to her. The problem is that she doesn't get that sometimes thing. With M if you do it once then it's law and you're required to do it forever. B brought up last night that he wished he could just lay with her sometimes because she's not always going to want us to. So now I bring up something that I don't think most parents ever think of- what if in 6 months, a year, two years, whatever...what if they tell me she has cancer and she won't live? Will I regret every time I made her cry for me at night? Will I regret not holding her every second I could? The decisions you make as a parent are so difficult. You want to do what is right for your child in the long run, but also, you want to take care of yourself and appreciate every second you have with them. I know its not normal/healthy for me to have thoughts like these, but I can't help it. I actually SEE those parents suffering through things like that. I hear and see their pain. It's awful. I thank God every day that it's not me. I love that child so much. I am incredibly lucky to have two of the most wonderful children on earth. It's crazy to think that some day we may add another child to this mix. My heart is so full right now. My children are my everything. It's amazing that my heart is big enough to hold the both of them. They are truly everything I have ever dreamed of having and more.

Santa Experience

This morning we went to Bass Pro Shop to get our Santa picture. I had heard it was a good place to go and it was. We were the only people there so we talked to him before we did it to get them warmed up. M was not impressed and really didn't want to do it at all, but we bribed her with Candy canes. G was terrified of him and was screaming terribly in the pic before this one. All in all, I thought it was a pretty decent picture. They're both saying, "Seriously mom- this is dumb."

After that we went to Independence Center and the kids played around a bit before coming home. I put a briscuit in before we left and OH MY my house smells DELICIOUS! I'm having a bunch of people over tonight to help me eat it since I know Brooks won't. A 10 lb briscuit would last me about a year frozen. I am hoping it tastes as good as it smells.

I've been thinking a lot about how motherhood teaches you to get over yourself. You have all of these plans in place about how things will be- even the second time. For example, I was thinking how I would make all G's baby food because if he'd never had the jarred stuff he'd probably like real food and veggies more, right? WRONG. G still will barely eat anything at all, so all that time and energy I wasted making his purees? Wasted. Not just that- lots of things...motherhood is really good at putting you in your place, teaching you to let go, and making you go with the flow. Prozac is pretty good at that too.

Dodged the bullet

Well- our fears were relieved this morning when we learned that B gets to keep his job. I don't even feel disappointed about not getting to go to weekend option for some reason. I think I am just happy to not have the weight of supporting my family entirely on my shoulders. I am kind of in the mode of working extra now so hopefully I'll keep it up for awhile to get us some things we desire. Now G can get a new car seat (since he's growing) and we can keep saving up for my VAN!! WOOHOO! heh.

It's a winter wonderland here- I think we have about 3-4 inches on the driveway right now and it's still snowing. It's about 2 degrees so no playing outside for us! Grandma Lana took M to see Addison's school Christmas play this morning- not sure if she's coming back or not- depends on the roads. Doesn't M look so cute ready for the program? Not thrilled with the picture taking. G and I are here changing sheets and finishing up laundry (and blogging). He's so animated when he's by himself. G showing off his new body. Doesn't he look so old in this picture? He's so close to walking but he's been nearly walking for a couple of months now. He'll probably be late at the rate he's going. He's so fast crawling I think walking would irritate him.This is about the only view we are getting of M lately. She's much to busy coloring and "writing her name" to talk to us. She knows that her name is "M-I-R-A" but she wouldn't have a clue what the letters actually looked like if she saw them. She'll say, "I wite my name. M, I, R, A." Then she'll make a squiggly line. Pretty impressive if you ask me. Sadly- she's definitely right handed- there's no doubt about it.

Snow Bunnies

So tonight after leaving work I felt very accomplished. I worked 4 out of the last 5 days and I am completely exhausted, but I feel good about it. I can't wait to get to bed! I have missed the kids so much! G has been in bed both nights this weekend when I got home :( It's nice to not have a ton to do when I get here, but I just miss him! Not much going on this week- I will try to get an extra shift in at some point. I still need to take the kids to sit on Santa's lap.
G playing with his blocks last week. Sweet baby feet. I love them so.Here are the pics from last week in the snow. Turned out pretty cute I thought!Whoa Daddy slow down!G in his cute 0-6 month snow suit! heh.M likes to sit on the potty- she's actually tinkled in it twice, but she still has no clue what it feels like when she needs to go. Oh well. Still cute. Apparently she likes People Magazine too...

Progress

So for a month now (Nov 9th-Dec 10th) I've been charting my calories/exercise and staying right around 2000. I've been walking/running in the basement on our new treadmill. So I've lost 8.4lbs!!! I am feeling really great. I would like to loose about 5 more- 10 max, but my clothes are fitting and I'm pretty proud of my progress. No more embarassment. I've been through a funeral, a birthday party, and Thanksgiving all in this month's time (all great excuses to eat tons)- pretty impressive if you ask me! I am just hoping not to gain anything through Christmas.

I am now pretty much done pumping breastmilk for G. I did pump this morning before work, but only because I didn't want to have to pump this afternoon. I don't think I'll probably need to pump tonight before bed. It's a feeling of real freedom, but also of loss. Time to move forward I suppose.

I am probably going to be stepping up and working 4 days a week for awhile. I'm not looking forward to it, but I'm feeling it's going to be quite necessary. I think I may start by adding tomorrow to the list. I hate feeling like I never see the kids....oh well. You do what you have to do, eh? I've never felt like I couldn't really afford whatever I just wanted on a whim until now. It's a pretty strange feeling and one I hope doesn't last very long. Without going into great detail...we could use some prayers/ good thoughts for financial stability.

We got a tiny bit of snow yesterday. Even though it wasn't much, we got the kids out in it last night. I took some pictures- I'll try to post them soon!

Productivity and problem solved!!

Meet- the basement. Everyone knows we have WAY too many toys to fit upstairs, so occasionally we take stuff down and pile it up. We have extra furniture and an extra computer down there too and my beloved treadmill. I have been going down every night (almost) after the kids are in bed and walking. It's been great, however, some times I feel so exhausted. I have been wishing I could do it during the day, but the basement hasn't really been what you would call "kid friendly." I tried to keep G pinned up with the baby gate and some toys and he wouldn't have it. Well, today I got busy and made the basement a new place to play!! I brought the little tikes house inside for M- which she loves, and figured out a way to cover up all the cords and things the kids shouldn't get into using plywood, peg board, the superyard XT, and M's crib rails. Here's what we've got now!!! I used several blankets and some cuts of fleece to cover all the cement where they would be playing. At a garage sale this fall I obtained some Barney VHS tapes for the basement. I was able to get in a mile and a half while M played and G slept!! WOOHOO!! I'll still have to walk some tonight, but not for nearly so long! I'm pumped!