Over.

I know it's been a long time but a lot has been going on. Dad passed away on Sunday, September 19th at about 9 am. Molly got here on Friday, thank goodness. I spent the night in STJ on Thursday night- things were looking pretty poor. I picked her up at the airport on Friday at about 12. We spent the night in STJ for 2 nights also. On Saturday night at about 3 am we got the call that we were at the end. His heart rate was in the 180's, his temp was about 104, and he was starting to moan. We called our grandma and mom and headed out to the nursing home. He ended up holding on for a long long time. I was thankful that my grandma was able to be there. It was really peaceful- he eventually just slowed his breathing and let go.

There were a lot of emotions that flow at that point. We've grieved for him- for several years, but I think the grieving process finally hits the front when the person is actually gone. It makes me so sad for the last 5 years and what he could have had but chose not to. For many reasons I'm very thankful for the cancer. He got to die with dignity and he got to die sober. He got to die with his family by his side supporting him. He was a good man who had a horrible disease called alcoholism and I can be thankful that his alcoholism wasn't what killed him.

His service will be this Saturday at 1 pm in Albany. Molly ended up staying here all week. I pretty much have everything squared away except for his cell phone. Yesterday she and I took the kids to the zoo with one of her high school friends and her kids. It was a great day to see the animals because it was cool and cloudy. A fun time!

It's going to be very strange to suddenly have my life back. To get to clean my house on my day off, to get to pick my kids up from school when I'm not working. It's odd how it really didn't bother me to do things for him though....only when I got home did it bother me. Anyway- that's where we are.