More on change.

Silly- we took these last week.
If you look closely we have the exact same color eyes.
This might end up a slightly (or more than slightly) reflective post... I feel like lots of things have changed lately. The obvious- I have lost 30 lbs, am in the best shape of my life (literally), I am taking a new job in 3 weeks, I'm going to have a normalish schedule, and a few other things.
The not-so-obvious to other people: I find that I feel better about myself than ever before. I don't shy away from getting my picture taken, I feel good in my clothes and most of the time don't feel self conscious about myself. I find myself doing things FOR myself lately- reading some books to help me with areas of my life I feel I need to work on, spending more time with friends one on one and in groups, taking the time to paint my toenails, shave my legs regularly, get my hair cut and dyed regularly, do an exercise class I love, etc. It's interesting how feeling good about yourself can slowly creep into all areas of your life and make you WANT to improve things.

I am taking a job with Cardiovascular Surgery at Children's mercy- I will be a scrub nurse in the operating room. This means I will be at the field during the surgery- I will be in charge of managing instruments for the surgeon, etc. At each surgery there is a surgeon (obviously) and 3 nurses- the 1st (each doctor has one) and 2 scrub nurses. On most days I am really excited about it. I want to learn new things and I am REALLY looking forward to finding a church home and making it our own. I have no idea if the OR is the place for me or not. It is completely different than anything I've ever done as a nurse, but I do think it will fit my obsessive and organized personality well. If I do end up ever going back to the PICU it will be a great expansion of my knowledge. There are days when I wonder what I'm doing. I love my job, love my coworkers, and love my patients. Why am I leaving, you ask? Well....in nursing there are about a million different things you can do, and I've only done ONE. So how do I know I'm where I belong? I have been there long enough to be knowledgeable, successful, and just darn good at what I do (heh), but where do I want to be in 10 years? I HAVE NO IDEA. A scary thought really. Time to see what else the world holds. I am really really excited about working 4 days a week 7-330- I think it will benefit our family and our children a GREAT deal. My kids are both strong willed and strong willed children thrive on scheduling....something neither B and I are good at providing. Pepper, on the other hand, is superb at it. There are lots of things that will have to change with this, but I am excited to see how this will impact our family.

I am still doing my training. I really need to step it up this week and do more, but I feel like people are tired of watching our children so I can work out. Unfortunately this means that B has to be alone with them in the evening so I can get it in. Only one more month until the race! Time is getting short and I don't feel even close to being ready to complete it.

In short, I feel like an entirely different person than I was 4 months ago and it feels great. Unfortunately I do feel that it's possible that it won't last. I am actually a little terrified of having another baby and gaining a bunch of weight back. I really don't want to get pregnant until I have been in my new position for at least a year so we'll see what happens there. I also need for my children to grow out of their difficulties a bit.

That's all for now- I can't handle the screaming any more. Doesn't G look like such a BOY here?

He thinks it's hilarious to push the chairs over to the computer and try to play with it. Woops- got caught this time!