Thought Vomit

So I think a lot, and it just swims around and around in my head. I feel like I should proably journal, but then there is the, "What are you going to do with it" question and I feel stupid writing it down sometimes. Plus...WHEN am I going to do it. I sometimes think it would help my mental health, but who knows.

I am once again doing nothing with my kids. They watch TV, I attempt do get things done, and the days pass by. I HATE January, and February, and March. I have some serious seasonal affective disorder if you ask me. I'm in a perpetual bad and lazy mood. I really need to get back into a routine with the kids. They are going to Pepper's 3 days a week to try and create some sort of routine in their lives. I know it does help them and sometimes gives me a free day to myself which I try not to waste, but am not always successful with.

Mira is so very smart. She says all sorts of totally grown up things that she doesn't really understand at all. She's quite difficult at times and gives me a run for my money. We have to lay by her bed to get her to go to sleep- I read until she falls asleep. At some point she wakes up and is "Scared because no one is in here with me," and comes into our room. I either bring her to bed with us or go to her bed, whichever I have the most energy for. If we go to her bed I get more sleep because she doesn't have to sleep directly on top of me. She also feels it necessary to SHARE my pillow most nights. There was a brief couple of months awhile back when she was sleeping all night and I missed her next to me, so as much as I complain, there is part of me that recognizes the sweetness of her needing me. She talks to me on the phone when I am at work and says, "But I just need you, mommy. I need you here with me." Nice. Not to feel guilty for working or anything. I should really write down the things she says, but there are so many amazing things I can't get them all. Her favorite right now is, "But you're making me so frustrated!" Yeah, tell me about it.

Griffy is saying nearly everything. He still doesn't eat like normal, but he does eat most fruits (fresh and diced cups), nearly any cracker, cheese (sliced and sticks), yogurt, french fries, pizza, an occasional chicken strip, some hot dogs, pepperoni, cereal, nutrigrain bars, popsicles, ice cream, cookies, ketchup, tater tots, and maybe a few other things. This is a long list if you ask me. He mainly sustains on Pediasure. He says tons of words- really anything you ask him to say he'll say. Most of it is understandable. He loves to play babies with Mira, much to B's dismay. He has started loving to swim in the bath tub and play ball. His latest obsession is with baby Einstein, the Reindeer. He pretty much asks for the "deer" all day long every single day. It's pretty hilarious. We hardly EVER watch it- especially when we're not at home. He will read the baby einstein brochure all day long too. It's a crazy obsession. He's also obsessed with his "puppy" and must sleep with it. It was an Easter puppy Mira got on her first easter that actually had bunny ears on it. I had to cut them off. It makes him crazy happy to have her.

More thought vomit later.