Friday, June 5, 2009
Oh the guilt is overwhelming...
Sometimes I feel like a terrible mother. I find myself relying more and more on the television to entertain my children. I am NOT a good stay-at-home mom. I resist and avoid organized activities because of the mess and annoyance that both kids can't do the same thing. I WANT to do better, but each day I find myself NOT doing better. :( I have been looking at changing my job situations for a few reasons....I can get into when my son isn't screaming his head off...but I'm starting to think that maybe it would be better to be away more and then I might appreciate the time with them I HAVE? Thoughts?
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3 comments:
I have the same thoughts as you do about staying at home...I'm not sure I'm good at it. I do value my time with Em more when I am away during the day it seems. While I'm so thankful for the time we get to spend together now - I know that I'm not the best at staying at home. Let me know when you figure out the answers...unfortunately - I'm not sure you'll figure out a Great fix. Either way you'll feel guilty about something! All part of being a mom right!
My thoughts are not what you are going to want to hear, but they are my thoughts since i've been in both places.
I was a working mother of two for 5yrs. Then i had my 3rd son and at 4mo of age I decided...enough is enough...I want to raise my sons. So i decided, "go on the midnight shift"...so i did. I was barely able to keep my eyes open to take care of a 2yr old and a newborn and still go to school activities for my 6yr old. So then i said, ok...i'm going to stay at home, knowing my hubby made enough money, but spent enough too. but i stayed home anyway and began a daycare in my home. I kept a set of triplets (2mo old till they were 3) and a another newborn...all girls (plus my 2boys at home and one in school). I LOVED IT. I kept a very STRICT schedule and had bathtime, playtime, reading time, outside time, movie time, lunch time, snack time, etc.....it was awesome. it even worked when my boys began preschool and i had to take all the babies with me to drop him off three days a week and pick him up 3hrs later.
When my husband began beating me... i had to leave for the safety of myself and my kids and stopped the daycare for the other childrens wellfare, at which point i did a "no No" and met a man and got pregnant. I married him (which didnt work- only to separate a year later)and now I am a single mother of FOUR and am crying every day that I have to leave my daughter (the boys are all in school) every day.
I think all that you need to do is BE HAPPY that you have the opportunity to be home, love your kids and just start planning a schedule and NEVER break that schedule. you MAKE them take a nap for at least one hour. That gives you some you time, and you can refresh. If they cry during nap...you go outside....read a book, whatever....crying will not harm a child.
I believe you are doing an AWESOME JOB...seeing your posts, pictures, and details, you are doing great. Stay with it. Dont leave them. They need you.
I only wish I had a man that could support me and my family so that I could do the same.
This is only MY opinion. I think you should enjoy and cherish your time with them. It does get easier@!!
Here's the thing. I DONT stay home. I work full time. That's what people don't get. I WORK FULL TIME. I just do it on the weekends which makes it seem like I'm staying home. I HAVE to work during the week for my family's stability. So, it's 3 days a week random 13.5 hour days, or 4 days a week set days 8.5 hour days. see now?
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