Just stuff

Well time for an update. This last week I started working night shift. It's tough let me tell you. It's stressful as the day approaches. What time will I go to bed the night before? What time will I get up that day? What time will I lay back down to nap and how long will I sleep? Oh geez. I'm hoping to figure all of this out sooner rather than later.  I find that I have a really hard time when it gets close to "bed time" at work and then after about 11:30 passes I tend to do ok. I'm still trying to figure out what to eat when. My body isn't hungry, but it's meal time, right? So we should eat? Well I have been, and then I feel terrible. I'm hoping eventually I'll learn to quit eating.... I have also learned that crunching ice chips in the early morning hours really wakes you up! Ha!

I went to nights to give the kids more consistency. They still have daycare and such but now it's always me after school and we always eat dinner together as a family. I'm hoping it will help lots of things. The lack of consistency was really bothering me and I think it was hurting our kids. In march I will go to weekend nights which will be even better. I assume it's normal to feel as a mother like you are failing constantly. Especially with my strong willed Mira I always feel like I don't give her what she needs. She is constantly defiant and pushing the boundaries. I know I'm not as consistent with punishments and expectations as she needs me to be.  I feel like we never have any time together where things are going well. Everything is always a fight.  This week she actually got in trouble and kicked out of gymnastics class by her teacher. That's the first time she has been challenging for an authority figure other than family. It worries me. I want her to be self assured, but I also want her to be responsible, dependable, honest, smart, capable, and agreeable. I'm not so sure we are always shaping her that way. The only way I could figure to work on all this is just to be present. Every day. Consistently.  So, if I need to work while she sleeps, so be it.

People keep asking me if I can sleep during the day- uh people, I can sleep anytime, anywhere if I'm tired. Seriously. I do find that I don't sleep as long as I'd sometimes like, but whatever.


Valentines day is fast approaching. Mira and I worked on her box last night as her party is Friday. Turned out cute!

I found Griffy's old loader movie. BOY are we obsessed!

The weather has been really nice off and on and sully will stand at the door and scream outside. He is really becoming attached to his sissy too and asks about her all day long. She is good about playing with him and entertaining him for me when I need her to. She can be a really good big sister.

Lastly.....remember when we didn't have a cat? Yeah, that was sad.