Musings

You know, I can definitely say that my life is full. It's full. Very full. And Very busy. Three kids is a lot of kids to have. And then I look back at all the pictures from last year and I wonder how I could never have another newborn. Never watch another one grow. I wonder if I would enjoy a newborn more if I didn't nurse. I know I was definitely less stressed with Mira, but of course, I only had her, so it's hard to know. Most days people ask me if I want any more kids and I say, "Not this week." It's true. I'm finally almost back to my normal weight and shape and feeling good. I can't imagine at this point starting over, gaining weight again, screwing up my hormones, and going back to the beginning. I have no idea what the future holds for our family at this very moment. So much of me wants to move on. Watch them grow, move to the next stage of life. At the same time, letting go of this stage of life is BIG. You don't get another chance. You don't get to go back once you've moved on. I definitely don't feel like someone who should be moving on to "middle age." Whatever that might mean! Right now life is stressful, but I can't say that I don't love it at the same time. I love to watch the kids learn new things, explore life, and grow. It's amazing. It's sometimes hard to stop and enjoy it, but I try to do as good of a job as I can.